It's all the same, day in and day out

I know people are struggling with the boredom and monotony that comes from staying at home. 

I am not one of those people. 

As long as I can be around my animals, I will never be bored. 

We thrive on routine and do almost the same activities every single day...

...up to and including standing in the same place, 

pointing to Alex to leap up on the same chair, 

to receive the same reward.

It never gets old.

A few minutes with Alan and a lizard

Today's music is "Lizards Dancing on the Fence" by Gary Bowman.

Staying busy

Some things never change

There comes a point when I have to stop screaming into the void and do it here instead, because these daily press conferences? The excerpts I'm seeing leave me speechless. Why can't anybody stop him? How can we help fix this? There are no easy answers until November, I know, but I feel a little better having asked the questions.
Thanks for listening to me vent. You might want to hit replay on the video now.

Here, this will help, too.
Maggie Mae, Lisa G's 10-week-old Cavapoo:

Remembering Smooch

I said goodbye to Smooch on Saturday. She had a seizure, and the poor prognosis convinced me

it was time to let her go. I buried her at the ranch, in a spot where she will still be able 

to keep an eye on things. 

The song is called "Story of My Life" from The Piano Guys.

Alex's new friends

We had a visitor at the ranch yesterday.

I wasn't wearing my glasses when I saw him and assumed I was taking a picture of a bat.

Turns out it was just a very impressive moth.

I texted his picture to Danni, whose response was "Omfg you need to measure it!"

He flew away by the time I got back with my tape measure, darn it.

But the story doesn't end there.

Alex continues to wait for the return of her new friends.

The problem with hanging indoor art outdoors

When I hung a few pieces of art on the back porch,

I figured I might have to straighten them occasionally

or dust them off. No big deal under ordinary circumstances.

This was not going to be an ordinary circumstance.

The nest was occupied so I gave the tenant a week's notice
to find suitable accommodations elsewhere.

Alex said I was being a pushover and began eviction proceedings.

Old Dog Vestibular Disease – it's a thing and who knew?

Smooch is going to be fine. 

Let us all remember that as I recap the last few days. 

Monday morning started out no differently than any other morning around here:
feed the dogs, do barn chores, walk the dogs, then work at my desk for a few hours
while the dogs nap. Everything was so normal and ordinary. Until it wasn't. 

Smooch woke up, then started wandering around the house as if she were looking for something.
Then she tipped over. She got up, took a few seemingly drunken steps, then she tipped over again.
Within 10 minutes, Smooch was crated and in the truck, and we were on our way to the vet.
 In my mind, she had suffered a stroke and I wouldn't be bringing her back home.

The vet examined Smooch, paying close attention to her eyes and her movements.
She seemed to know right away what was happening
and went on to explain "Old Dog Vestibular Syndrome."
Apparently it's common in senior dogs and is similar to a severe case of human vertigo.
Smooch would likely be fine in three to five days.
The vet sent us on our way with a prescription for meclazine, which humans take for motion sickness
and which Smooch would take to avoid nausea and loss of appetite.

 Here we are at the Walgreen's pharmacy drive-through, picking up Smooch's prescription.

Until she's recovered, Smooch is staying in Alex's crate, 

where she's safe from the slippery floor (and Alex).

The video below was taken mid-day Tuesday, by which time Smooch was doing much better.

You're probably going to think "This is better?!" 

It is – really! But it's also scary.

I steer clear of Google when it comes to all things medical – human or animal –

for fear of jumping to catastrophic conclusions. But Danni was kind enough

to find and share with me this excellent article on "Old Dog Vestibular Disease,"
which was just what I needed to step back from the ledge.

If you share your life with a dog, you might want to read it now 

so that you won't fear the worst unnecessarily if it happens to your canine companion.

I f*ing did it!

The next big project

The last time I used "The next big project" as the title of a post, I got a puppy.

Spoiler alert: This big project is not another puppy.

For those of you who may not have understood my rambling, 

here is the inspiration for what I will be trying to accomplish:

Hibernating

December is not our favorite month. 

It's cold, we have to spend too much time indoors, and

there's simply not enough daylight. 

I suppose I could use the extra inside time to keep this blog updated, but no.

Our current default state is hibernation.

 Alex has found a temporary solution to our couch-is-too-small problem

by claiming the upholstered coffee table as her own.

The few toys you see in the above picture are about all that remain 

relatively in tact out of the three dozen or so she grew up with.

She has decimated the others, with a little help from Smooch.

The upside is she doesn't chew on any of my stuff. Yet.

 

Hockey has been our saving grace this winter. 

I splurged on a season TV pass so I can follow my Washington Capitals,

which means it's hockey night in New Mexico two or three times a week.

Alex finds herself in the penalty box whenever she gets too rough with Smooch.

You may have noticed an absence of all things Christmas in my house.

These geraniums are as red and green as it will get around here.

I don't do Christmas any more. I've never been a big fan of the holiday, 

and Christmas music sends me right over the edge. 

If you're thinking along the lines of "she must be so lonely and depressed," please stop.

I'm not! I just don't like all the hoopla, and out here in nowheresville, it's really easy to ignore.

I might add that nowheresville doesn't seem as remote since my phone 

can pinpoint my location right down to the room I'm standing in. How creepy is that?

All the animals are healthy and happy, which is the best gift of all

any time of the year.

When Alex isn't chewing up her toys, she's fixated on the feral beast.

Have your social media feeds been overflowing with ads from ruggable? 

Mine have, and I was powerless against their marketing tactics, which basically involve 

a lot of dogs. Check out their instagram feed. You'll see what I mean.

But you know what? Their rug system is effin' awesome and we are madly in love,
and they're not paying me to say that.

You: Is this post ever going to end? She goes silent for a couple of weeks 
and now she won't shut up.
Me: One last thing.

I received this gift from someone who knows me too well. Thanks, Ethel!
If the text on the video is too small to read, here's what it says:
Whenever things don't go so well,
and you want to hit the wall and yell,
here's a little dammit doll
that you can't do without. 
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it.
And as you whack the stuffing out
yell "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" 

(view with the sound on, but not too loud if you're at work)

Why did the chicken walk down the frosty pipe rail?

a) because chickens are weird

b) to peck poop off the pipe

c) to hang out with me

d) to visit her friend Alex

e) all of the above

Smooch, Alex and the octopus

Take Your Chicken for a Walk Day

 

Yes, chicken harnesses are a thing and I bought one.

And who better to help me train Patti than the chicken whisperer herself (Danni),

who also snapped these pictures and video.

I told Patti that once she learns to stop pulling, 

she can join the dogs and I on our morning walk. 

Don't hold your breath.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line

Intruder

Down the road with Smooch and Alex

Today's music is "Eight-Paw Waltz" by Tim Neumark.

Taking attendance

Let the guessing games begin

Alex and I ran into a neighbor yesterday, 

who of course asked me, "What kind of dog is she?" 

I gave my standard reply – "Valencia County Terrier."

However, in a few weeks, I should have a better answer 

because today I'm mailing Alex's DNA to the lab.

Since probably half the dogs in Valencia County, New Mexico, are pitbulls 

and the other half are Chihuahuas, logic says Alex must be half of each.

We'll see. My money is on a little bit of Chihuahua, maybe some Jack Russell Terrier,

a smidgen of pitbull mixed in with some generic hound dog,
and I won't rule out a bit of Boxer.

On the left, Alex at 11 weeks and 10 pounds; on the right, Alex at 23 weeks and 19.8 pounds.

 

On the left, me at 3,312 weeks and no way would I ever publish my weight.

Same goes for on the right.

(this calculator is so useful)

p.s. If you weren't around in November 2010 for Smooch's DNA test results, here's a link.

The E Street Band Chickens

Finally, my new hens have names, albeit confusing ones.

They're all girls, no matter how many times I call them "he" in this video.