Saturday encore ~ Translating ear-speak

Awhile back, reader Onhazier asked, "Can you demystify the ear language employed by equines? I understand 

the body languages of cats and dogs but feel like I’m missing out on half of the conversations your photos document."

Ears are just one component of a donkey's body language, albeit the most obvious given their size.

Donkeys also speak with their their tails, their legs, their voices, even their nostrils. 

I'll attempt to translate the pictures below based mostly on ear-speak.

This picture tells me that Lucy is relaxed but alert, George is half asleep, and Alan is a little agitated. 

Look at Lucy's ears: she is multi-tasking, listening to something off to the side with her right ear and to me with her left ear. 

George ears aren't as perky; he can relax because Lucy and Alan are paying attention for him. 

Alan's ears are pointed at me, but look at those flared nostrils! I think that means he's agitated about something ... 

probably Lucy, because she's standing closer to me and would have first dibs on a cookie were I to offer one.

A noise! Everybody turns toward the sound, which was a vehicle pulling an empty stock trailer over a cattle guard 

about a mile away. If I could identify it with my puny ears, it must have sounded like a sonic boom to the donkeys. 

Alan's keeping an ear out for something happening in the barn (the "something" being Hank, 

who might emerge from the doorway and run over him at any moment).

Lucy is still listening to the vehicle on the road with one ear and to me with the other. 

George's ears are playfully back, as opposed to angrily back (context is everything when trying to translate). 

Alan's look tells me he's concerned; he is listening to the vehicle and to Hank in the barn, 

plus he's got George on his back wanting to play, but he's trapped on all sides.

Alan can't handle the pressure and walks into the barn. George gets miffed because Alan has turned down 

his invitation to play. And Lucy is half annoyed at both of them for being disruptive. 

If she were really annoyed, she would have pinned both ears.

This is why I don't get lonely out here – the animals never shut up!

Because you asked...about Smooch

I brought Smooch home from the St. Francis Animal Sanctuary in January 2006, when she was four months old. 

One of my yellow labs had just died, and I wanted a puppy to keep me and my other elderly lab company. 

Both labs had a long history of health problems, so I didn't want another pure bred 

who might be predisposed to particular health issues – I was in search of a mutt. 

I saw her advertised on Petfinder as a "chihuahua mix." Her shelter name was Grace. When I went to the sanctuary 

to meet her, she didn't look anything like a chihuahua to me, but what did I know? I took her for a little walk, 

she seemed like she would be a good match, and that was that. I brought her home. 

"Grace" did not suit her one stinkin' bit, so without a name to call her, I would make a little smooching sound 

to get her attention. And that's the name that stuck ... Smooch.

The picture above is the only one I have from her early days. Her ears were floppy and she was a little smaller 

than she is now, but otherwise she hasn't changed much at all physically. She was quite mischievous as a youngster 

and quickly learned she could open every door in the house by jumping up and pushing down on the handles. 

A bunch of friends came with their horses to stay one weekend and I'll never forget 

coming home with them from a ride to find my dirty laundry scattered all over the front yard. 

That's when I learned Smooch knew how to open doors.

Anyway, she settled into her role as ranch security early on and does a mighty fine job. 

I can't begin to tell you how safe I feel living here, knowing she'll tell me 

whenever something's going on that I need to know about. 

I had her DNA tested and learned she is 25% Chinese Shar-Pei, 25% Australian Cattle Dog (red heeler), 

and 50% unknown origin. In other words, she is a mutt. 

Laura S. asked what kind of food I feed Smooch. She gets one cup of Pedigree dry food twice a day,

plus the remains of every container of yogurt I eat, an occasional Alpo Snap... 

...plus whatever she digs up, which is usually nothing, but my oh my does she enjoy trying.

Lucy marks the spot

 This is the view looking north from the crossfence that separates the front and back 40.

This is the view looking south from the same spot.

 Lucy is standing where the red X is on this map, which brings me to the point of this post.

Several of you have asked how I draw on my pictures. 

Most of the time, I use Photoshop. If you're familiar with it, these steps will make sense:

Open photo. Add blank layer. Use pencil tool to draw or text tool to add text. Flatten. Save as .jpg. Done.

Easy-peasy if you've got Photoshop on your computer.

When I've got alot of drawing to do, as with the map above, I'll use Adobe Illustrator.

I use Photoshop and Illustrator every day for my paying job, so this stuff comes naturally,

but it's way more fun to draw on photos than it is to design brochures and such.

Now if I could only find a way to make a living taking pictures of animals and drawing on them, I'd have it made!

Because you asked: Translating ear-speak

Awhile back, reader Onhazier asked, "Can you demystify the ear language employed by equines? I understand 

the body languages of cats and dogs but feel like I’m missing out on half of the conversations your photos document."

Ears are just one component of a donkey's body language, albeit the most obvious given their size.

Donkeys also speak with their their tails, their legs, their voices, even their nostrils. 

I'll attempt to translate the pictures below based mostly on ear-speak.

This picture tells me that Lucy is relaxed but alert, George is half asleep, and Alan is a little agitated. 

Look at Lucy's ears: she is multi-tasking, listening to something off to the side with her right ear and to me with her left ear. 

George ears aren't as perky; he can relax because Lucy and Alan are paying attention for him. 

Alan's ears are pointed at me, but look at those flared nostrils! I think that means he's agitated about something ... 

probably Lucy, because she's standing closer to me and would have first dibs on a cookie were I to offer one.

A noise! Everybody turns toward the sound, which was a vehicle pulling an empty stock trailer over a cattle guard 

about a mile away. If I could identify it with my puny ears, it must have sounded like a sonic boom to the donkeys. 

Alan's keeping an ear out for something happening in the barn (the "something" being Hank, 

who might emerge from the doorway and run over him at any moment).

Lucy is still listening to the vehicle on the road with one ear and to me with the other. 

George's ears are playfully back, as opposed to angrily back (context is everything when trying to translate). 

Alan's look tells me he's concerned; he is listening to the vehicle and to Hank in the barn, 

plus he's got George on his back wanting to play, but he's trapped on all sides.

Alan can't handle the pressure and walks into the barn. George gets miffed because Alan has turned down 

his invitation to play. And Lucy is half annoyed at both of them for being disruptive. 

If she were really annoyed, she would have pinned both ears.

This is why I don't get lonely out here – the animals never shut up!

Because you asked: Are George or Alan trained in any discipline?

If looking adorable and modeling are considered disciplines, then yes, absolutely!

 

If you were meaning something productive, such as driving, then no.

In their second year here, I had great aspirations for teaching them to drive, but I couldn't make it work.

We had some success when I had another person available to assist,
but on the other 364 days of the year we got nowhere.

 

But healthy, well-cared-for donkeys can live to be 50,
so there's still plenty of time to train them to do something...

 

...besides annoy each other.

Pork, the other white meat

Because you asked... 

My two remaining chickens are doing very well. Thanks for asking! Between Minnie and Peach, I'm getting about 10 to 12 eggs per week. Eugenia went to the big henhouse in the sky in early December, followed by Clara a few weeks ago. My chickens don't ever seem to get sick – they just expire overnight when I least expect it. While I love my chickens and certainly appreciate their bountiful gifts, I don't get that attached to them, which is just as well. Peach is 4 now and Minnie is 3, so their prime laying years are almost behind them. They have a forever home here, whether they lay eggs or not. I'll be adding two or three girls to the flock in early summer, when some good-sized pullets should be available.

Meanwhile, the lunchtime routine – when the chickens and Wynonna switch places in the front yard – has been made a bit easier with only two chickens. Let me show you what goes on.

First I have to find the chickens. Sometimes they're walking around scratching the dirt 

and looking for stuff to eat, other times they're napping under a bush.

I get behind them and herd them toward their door in the barn. 

Sometimes they're cooperative, other times they're not. Herding chickens can be a lot like herding cats. 

Speaking of herding cats, do you see mine up there helping me?

Yesterday I opened Wynonna's gate and let her out before I went in search of the chickens, 

which is always a big mistake, but she was yelling so loudly to get out, I had no choice.

If you've forgotten how vocal Wynonna can be, watch this.

Peach was being a good chicken and climbed right through the door.

Minnie, the opportunist, went straight for Wynonna.

Minnie: Nom nom nom nom nom...pork butt, rump roast, call it what you will. I call it lunch.

And this is why Wynonna and the chickens have to take turns in the front yard.

The chickens will peck at her unmercifully if I turn them out together.

Anyway, I had to stop taking pictures before blood was drawn but I shooed Minnie into the barn,

Wynonna found her place in the sun to nap, and I finished my chores and went back to work.

Because you asked: TV viewing in a post-Breaking Bad world

Welcome to the first in a series I shall call "Because You Asked." Carolynn wondered what I'm watching on TV, now that Breaking Bad has ended. The short answer is, "a whole lot of crap." Carolynn, if you were looking for a few recommendations of great TV shows you might have missed, you won't find them in this post.

The TV is on here for several hours each day, usually in the evenings after the sun has gone down or in the middle of the night when I wake up for no apparent reason and need to be lulled back to sleep. I rarely watch TV in real time; I record programs on the DVR and play them back to fit my schedule and so that I can fast-forward through the commercials.

One program I never miss is the NBC Nightly News. My longest-ever celebrity crush is Tom Brokaw, and now I've got a thing for Brian Williams. I like his dry wit, and he always gets a little misty-eyed when he reports on a heartwarming animal story. Anyway, I still like to get my news the old-fashioned way, so eating dinner with Brian works for me.

Until the recent changing of the guard in late-night television, I had always watched Letterman, never Leno. Now I record Jimmy and Seth. They're both so darned funny and likable. And through the miracle of the DVR, I can watch the bits and pieces I prefer and skip over the guests I've never heard of.

I'm just as addicted to Downton Abbey as ever. This season seemed to go by so fast, though. I'm trying to fill the gap until next season with British period dramas I'm finding on Amazon Prime. The Forsyte Saga was very good – same era as Downton but featuring a less-aristocratic family. I've tried going back to the earliest episodes of Upstairs, Downstairs, but they're not closed captioned and I can't understand the accents. Next up on my streaming watchlist is The Duchess of Duke Street. How did I ever live without DSL?

This next one might surprise you: Project Runway. It's a show about fashion. Me? Fashionable? Ha! But I enjoy watching creative designers at work. It's one of those competition shows where the loser of the week's challenge cries and goes home. I'm not a big fan of the genre, but again, that's what DVRs are for – you can skip over the drama and get right to the good parts.

One show I do watch for the competition is Survivor. Those of you who have read this blog from the beginning know that George and Alan were consolation prizes to myself for not being selected to be on Survivor. I still think I could outwit, outplay and outlast most of those knuckleheads if given the chance. Alas, they don't seem to cast old broads anymore. Their loss.

I do not watch any cooking, singing or dancing competitions, but I will admit to watching a whole lot of HGTV and the Food Network. Those channels are frequently on in the background while I'm working on the next day's blog post. I have no intention of ever moving, let alone out of the country, but I can't get enough of House Hunters International – real-estate porn at its finest. Good Eats with Alton Brown is my foodie favorite; it's part science, part history, part cooking demo. Last night I learned the importance of a roasting pan and why some fresh chicken meat is yellow, in addition to how to properly roast a whole chicken. Good stuff.

Now this is where it's going to get embarassing. In real life, I can't stand arguing and drama queens and conspicuous consumption, but I watch just about every franchise of The Real Housewives. Scary, huh? I don't know what it is about those shows that I find so fascinating.

Proofreading this post has made me realize just how much garbage I watch and how much I miss Breaking Bad. All 65 episodes are still on my DVR. I think it's time to watch them again...unless you've got some better suggestions?