Couch in a box

I have been shopping for a new couch for three years. 

I went into one real store and left feeling totally overwhelmed by the experience

and underwhelmed by the pushy salespeople.

My online shopping forays were equally terrible –

too many choices and contradictory customer reviews, and 

how in the heck are you supposed to decide if a couch is comfortable 

if you can't sit on it?

Then there were the delivery issues. All of the online retailers I tried

insisted on a physical address for delivery, which I simply do not have.

Finally, in mid-February, I found a couch that I liked 

and it could be shipped via UPS in a box.

  

Actually, three really heavy boxes.

But before I unload the whole adventure on you, let's back up a bit.

My UPS packages are usually delivered to a dropbox on the side of the highway. 

I figured it would rain on delivery day and didn't want my new couch to get wet,
and how would a couch fit into the dropbox anyway?

So I re-directed the delivery to a UPS customer center in Albuquerque.

Alex and I drove there on Tuesday to pick it up.

I stood by myself in this lobby for 10 minutes waiting for someone to appear at the counter.

Luckily, Alex could keep an eye on me from the truck because she has been known to 

jump up and down on the doorlock when she misses me, 

which sets off the alarm system, which causes much chaos and embarrassment.

Anyway, GrumpyUPSman finally shows up, complains about the size and weight of my boxes, 

shoves them across the floor and leaves me to my own devices 

to haul them and lift them into the truck. Oh well. 

It would be good practice for unloading them once I got home.

One last look at the old couch before I bring in the new one.

Alex: WTF? Where am I supposed to take my nap?

As I began unpacking the boxes, it occurred to me that 

it would be awhile before I could sit on my new couch. 

Assembly would be required.
Funny how I hadn't noticed much mention of that on the vendor's website,
but how hard could it be?

When I found the boxes of parts and instructions, 

I was incredibly impressed that the vendor included an electric screwdriver.

Then I was incredibly distressed to find the sheer volume of screws that had to be screwed in.

The instructions seemed clear enough until I got to step 1 and spent the next two hours

Face-timing with a very helpful customer service agent as we tried to reconcile a discrepancy

between the written directions and the accompanying illustration. 

Turns out the illustration was incorrect and no one had noticed it before.

Then I ran out of energy to finish the assembly and called it a night.

Alex was okay with that, having found her napping spot in the dining room.

Before I took a nap of my own, I re-visited the vendor's website to see how 

I missed the part about "lots of assembly and physical strength and patience required."

I was already five hours into the project and couldn't stand up straight.

Tomorrow would be another day.

Lo and behold, after a few more hours on Wednesday, I finally have a new couch.

It's very sturdy and comfortable, I love the color, 

and – most importantly – I can stop shopping for a new couch.

Now I have to start shopping for a new coffee table because the old one is too big and looks weird.

I'll be looking for something pre-assembled.

The next big project

The last time I used "The next big project" as the title of a post, I got a puppy.

Spoiler alert: This big project is not another puppy.

For those of you who may not have understood my rambling, 

here is the inspiration for what I will be trying to accomplish:

Hockey night in New Mexico with Spike Jr.

There's a whole lot of hockey-watching going on here at the ranch.

The furniture has been rearranged for prime puck viewing.

Smooch is not a fan because as soon as the action starts, so too does 

the screaming and yelling and dancing around the living room.

While we're here, may I please direct your attention

to the plant atop the woodstove.

Here is that same plant in June 2014. 

Justina gave me a cutting from Spike, her aloe vera plant, just before

Morning Bray Farm moved to Virginia in late 2013.

2016 ... still alive.

2018 ... Spike Jr. is taking over the living room.

 I bought him another new pot, only to realize

I have no idea how to get all of him out of the old one,

so I stuck the old pot inside the new pot and there he shall remain.

Ranch Journal ~ February 8, 2018

Waking up without a plan for the day is dangerous for me.

I'm liable to do something rash.

Like move the coffee pot.

I decided it would look better and occupy otherwise wasted space

over there in the corner. Then because the coffee pot moved, the coffee mugs

and the sugar bowl and the coffee filters would have to make the trip as well,

and there went the entire day, heretofore known as the great kitchen purge of 2018.

 For me, the hardest part of any reorganization is deciding what to keep, what to donate

and what to toss. I cannot remember the last time I made a martini. It could have been 1992.

(The glass isn't frosted...that's dust.)

But I cannot bring myself to get rid of my set of martini glasses. 

One never knows when one will crave olives.

I took a more brutal approach in the spice cabinet and finally let go of a few items

long past their expiration date. This container of parsley flakes proved to be the oldest.

Would you care to guess how old and win a prize? Let's have a contest.

Guess the expiration date printed on the top of the parsley flakes and put the mm/dd/yyyy

in the comments. Whomever comes closest will win some goodies for their kitchen.

Be sure to include your name with your guess if you post anonymously.

(The prize is not a box of expired spices. I've been crocheting and that's all I'm saying.)

I'll close the comments Friday evening at 7 p.m. mountain time

and announce the winner on Saturday.

I'll swear I stared at this scene for an hour, paralyzed by the indecision of where to put things.

I finally gave up and just started with the coffee. As long as it ended up next to the coffee pot,

I would be happy.

I also wanted to find a new home for the pots and pans because 

I hate crawling into this stupidly deep and awkward cabinet to find them.

 When the day was done, all was right with the coffee and 

I can spin the pots and pans on the twirly thing to find the right one.

Give me about six months and I might open the right cabinet on the first try.

p.s. They make shelf liners for refrigerators. Who knew?

p.p.s. The novelty of being retired is bound to wear off eventually.

What's old is new again

I love Mondays. They give me an excuse to sit down after a chore-filled weekend.

On the left, we have my concrete floor before the weekend started.

On the right, we have that same floor today, after removing the furniture from each room,

vacuuming, mopping, resealing, waiting for the sealer to dry, resealing again,
then moving the furniture back.

Smooch: Where am I and what have you done with my house?

 

It had been seven years since I'd last resealed (and blogged about) the floors.

 

Smooch: You shouldn't have waited so long. 

Regular upkeep would probably make the job go faster.

 

Me: Dogs who expect to go for a long walk every day
might want to keep their opinions to themselves.

Smooch is right, though. I really need to make time to do this more often.

The house feels so clean and brand new.

And if somebody would keep her dog hair and dirt to herself, it might stay this way.

Smooch: Let's go for a walk before I mess it up.

L.E.D.s R Us

Just when you thought you were done reading about my kitchen makeover, 

here I am with another chapter. This is the last one. Promise. 

 You might remember that after Ethel and I installed the backsplash,

I called the project finished...except for that little matter of under-cabinet lighting.

I did my research, it looked easy, so I ordered all the stuff.

I selected Armacost's LED RibbonFlex Pro Tape Lighting.

As usual, I couldn't understand the instructions and turned to youtube for help.

The project started early Saturday afternoon. April the giraffe's baby was up and nursing,

so I felt confident that I could divert my attention to the task at hand.

Two and a half hours later, progress had been made, and the worst part
(that which involved all matters electrical) and the second-worst part
(reading the instructions printed in teeny tiny type) – were over.

There's just something about me and wires. I stared into this cupboard for two hours

trying to muster the confidence to make these connections.

You: You put the dimmer where you can't reach it, silly girl.

Me: Be patient...I'll get to that in a minute.

With the connections made and the lights working, it was time to stick them in place.

I learned from the manufacturer's FAQ page that to avoid a marquee reflection 

on shiny countertops, the tape strip should be affixed perpendicular to the surface, 

on the lip of the cabinet, instead of on the bottom. So that's what I did.
The stuff has a peel-off backing and couldn't be easier to stick on.

During the project's research phase, I was most concerned about 

how to work around the cabinet supports. I figured the lights or the wires

would show below the edge of the cabinets and then I'd have to drill holes through

the supports, then I'd screw that up and the cabinets would fall down.

Again, and as usual, I wasted a lot of time and energy fretting about something 

that wouldn't be a problem.

Unless someone shorter than me happens to be looking (highly unlikely unless they're 12),
 the wires that connect the sections of tape between the cabinet supports are invisible. Whew.

As for that out-of-reach dimmer in the cabinet above the microwave, 

I present this wireless control pad. It talks to the thing in the cabinet 

and powers and dims the lights as if by magic...
which is how all electricity works in the first place, right?

If this accessory had not been available, the project never would have happened,

as no amount of youtube videos could help me understand how to wire a new switch.

I loved my backsplash before, but now I want to marry it.

Presto chango, part 2

Look at those laminate countertops. The copper-flake color seemed like

such a good idea at the time, which was 12 years ago when 

I didn't watch HGTV obsessively and cared only about where the barn would go,
not whether there was enough contrast between the floors, cabinets and counters in my kitchen.

Funny how a little white quartz can brighten up the place.

In a matter of three and a half hours yesterday, the new counters were installed...

...along with an undermount sink. 

I have to wait 24 hours for the glue to dry 

before I can hook up the plumbing and install the new faucet.

Until this kitchen makeover started a few months ago,

I'd never even heard of an undermount sink.

I think I'll really like how easy it will be to clean around the top of it. 

See the two holes next to the sink in the picture above?

I will mount the faucet in the top one and put a plug in the other one

until such time that I sell the place and have to re-install

the dishwasher airgap to meet code. It's butt-ugly, unnecessary, and

I refuse to let it clutter up my new countertop. So there.

Before we leave this picture, note that I've had a crisis of confidence

when it comes to microwave installation. All the youtube videos I've watched

show two guys removing the old one and two guys installing the new one.

I've convinced myself that attempting this solo would be a bad idea.

So if you've got nothing better to do sometime soon and 

want to lift and tip a microwave into place, let me know. 

p.s. The mistake in the backsplash tile pattern has never been so glaringly obvious.

Some day I'll tell you how that happened.

Anyway, I had hoped that the kitchen makeover would stop now and would not include 

the replacement of the tile backsplash. Alas, the color of quartz I selected

is not as warm as the grout color, and overall, the tile just isn't working for me anymore.

I was planning to simply grout the space where the tile meets the quartz,

but now it appears I'll be ripping out all the tile instead. 

What fun! What a mess! What to put up there in its place?

Excuse me while I go google backsplashes.

Presto chango

 Tuesday morning...

 Tuesday afternoon!

 Tuesday morning...

Tuesday afternoon!

After many delays and weather cancellations, the new kitchen appliances

arrived yesterday. The delivery guys installed the refrigerator and range,

I installed the microwave – with Photoshop. The real thing is actually sitting in the dining room.

Yet again, I'm too frugal to pay a professional to do the installation
and will attempt it myself this weekend. Please say a little prayer.

Next up...new countertops, sink and faucet.