Tuesday, March 20, 2018

My theory on broken ribs

I have many theories on the way the world works, none of which are based on science but which I believe nonetheless. Perhaps you remember my two theories on age: 1) All adults are the same age. 2) Anybody who is taller than me is older than me (I'm 5'3"). Note that these theories were developed when I was an active participant in the dating pool.

Anyway, I have a new theory, and this one is on broken ribs and why they take a long time to heal (3 months said the xray guy, 6 months said the doctor, but they were both males so I'm thinkin' 1-1/2 to 2).

Carson's Theory on Broken Ribs:
Broken ribs take a long time to heal because each time you sneeze, they break all over again.

I'm serious. I have sneezed three times since this happened, and each time, it was #unscheduleddismount all over again. 

Think of it as pulling off a scab (this is a gross analogy and I apologize but it's exactly like that, without the scab and the blood). 

The scab heals over the wound, it gets ripped off, there's blood. Likewise, the ribs start to heal, you sneeze, the ribs crack again. Sigh.

Time passes...

The scab heals over the wound again, but the wound is a little smaller this time; the scab gets ripped off; there's blood but not as much as the last time. Likewise, the ribs have healed a bit and the crack isn't as big; you sneeze; the ribs crack again but not as far as the last time. 

How can you argue with that logic?

In any event, life goes on, albeit a little more slowly than usual.

p.s. If you have an old recliner in the basement and you're thinking about giving it away, reconsider if you think you might one day have some broken ribs.