Monday, May 8, 2017

Replacing a toilet...with a little help from Wynonna

 A week ago Friday, the handle on the guest bathroom toilet broke off. 
Because guests were scheduled to come over the next day for dinner. 
Then a freak spring snowstorm happened and the dinner was cancelled,
which turned out to be a good thing because nothing says entertaining
 like having to explain a broken toilet.

So I had a week to contemplate: 
a) the difficulty of finding replacement parts for a 13-year-old toilet, or
b) replacing the whole damned thing.

 Since this toilet had a few pre-existing conditions 
(some of the innards were held together with baling wire
and hard-water deposits were corroding everything else),
I opted for a total toilet replacement. 

I purchased a new one online, and all 100-plus pounds of it
were waiting for me when I went to Home Depot to pick it up.
A man in an orange apron and I wrestled it into the back seat of the truck,
thinking that might improve its chances of surviving a trip down the dirt road.
He refused my invitation to come back to the ranch and help me unload it,
so I got to fret all the way home about how I would get it out of the truck
and into the house in one piece.

Then Wynonna smiled down upon me and said,
"You got 160 pounds of me in and out of that truck. Same principle."

 Such a smart pig she was. 
She also could probably figure out a better method than duct tape 
to fix the garage door weather-stripping, but that's a blog post for another time.

 Anyway, the hard part was over. 
Now I just had to harness all that bold power and install it.

 My personal YouTube plumber taught me a few tricks,
and it wasn't too bad, though Smooch might argue that point.

 Smooch: You swear too much.

 Three hours later, the old toilet was out in the yard, 
and I had a pretty handle attached to a new toilet. 

 Then the fun began.

I smashed that old fixture to smithereens because I didn't want
to look at an old toilet in the back yard until my next trip to the dump.
Now that's what I call bold power. 

p.s. It turns out that my personal plumber is part of See Jane Drill.
How did I not know about this site until now?!


  1. After tackling electrical installation with the new light can handle anything in my book. The rest of home repair is just time and already cleared the high bar!
    Great job!
    When you put together your future retirement ranch community property, you can be the handy-woman! Or at least supervise 😂
    Lisa G in TN

  2. You are truly unbelievable! And you are entitled to swear - - - a lot.

  3. LOVE it! Miss that gal.....

  4. The Porcine Princess in your corner always. Good job. Kohler would be my choice too.

  5. I always swear a lot when I attempt home improvement.

  6. Darn, I was hoping you would use the old toilet as a planter.

  7. Yes a planter!...I could see red geraniums popping out!
    Very nice toilet! I thought the handle was going when I was there because of the angle of it...but it worked fine. Great job, Carse

  8. Jenny in MN, now in AZ5/8/17, 2:28 PM

    You are awesome! I love all your projects! I am fairly certain swearing is required during all home improvement projects. :) However, when I swear, my dog heads for the door - she knows I'm not happy and takes me way to seriously at that point...and it is never directed towards her.. She just knows momma is frustrated and she doesn't like that. :(

  9. Three hours? Dang, that's fantastic. I love your projects and solutions. Amazing and an inspiration.

    Anna G

  10. Northern AB gal5/8/17, 4:16 PM

    I'm with all the others love your projects and subsequent solutions! The look on Smooch's face says it all, although I'm sure if the swearing was too bad, both ears would be back, lol.

  11. Ha - I was going to mention how bold and powerful that new toilet looked.

    I applaud you smithereening the old one. There are too many toilets still hanging around in yards around here since the major flooding we had last fall. Can't stand looking at them. It's not the fixtures themselves, but more the contextual dissonance. Thanks for the link. :D

  12. I hope someone told you about the reusable alternative to wax rings...
    When we opted to replace, unfortunately we ended up replacing a four square foot section of the floor as well. Your house is newer than ours, though. Good job!

  13. DAng it! I was hoping you'd make a planter out of the old one!! ~CeeCee
    PS...Uncle Google and Auntie YouTube have saved us SO much money!!

  14. Sweet Wynonna had your back...they stay with us. :) You are Super Woman!
    If you ever have plumbing questions just email me and I will ask my dad, he's been a master plumber forever and had his own business forever. btw..I did get your email and I hope you received mine. :)

  15. Look at you with your high falutin silver jiggle handle! =o)

  16. I LOVE See Jane Drill! Have you watched he tutorial on tape measures?? You should. All the groves at the beginning tab have a purpose. We have a really old house and I love putting work into it. Still nervous about electrical work so I hire out for that. I am doing my kitchen for the second time wth some help from IKEA and my dad. I was thinking about all your posts about calling you dad when I was working with mine. I gave him an extra long hug that day.

  17. Oh my smashed what people in my neck of the woods used as a planter in their front yards!!!!!!!

  18. An American in Tokyo5/14/17, 7:20 PM

    Wow! You really are a superwoman!!