Tuesday, April 15, 2014

My life as a doorman

My work day typically begins around 7. I sit down at my desk, which is next to a glass door that opens to the front porch. 
I like this arrangement because I can see what the animals are up to. 
I don't like this arrangement because the animals can see what I'm up to.

Johnny makes his first appearance at the door at 7:01.

I let him in.

At 7:03, he decides he's bored and asks to go back outside.

I let him out. This goes on all damned day.

Me: I just let you out five minutes ago. You're not coming back in.

Johnny: Hrrmph.

Five minutes later.

Johnny: I promise I won't bother you. Please let me in? Please please please?

Johnny: What's this cord for? Got any food? *lick lick lick* asdfpoizcvz;lkn/wer.
Me: Get off the keyboard.

Me: Out. Now. You're making me crazy...

...and so is this filthy window.

Chasing the rag is the highlight of Johnny's morning so far.

Johnny: Mmm...clean window...let me rub my dusty fur against it.

We'll fast forward now to the afternoon. Johnny has been in/out 43 times and he's gotten a little tired.

Have I mentioned that Smooch usually spends most of the day in her chair on the back porch? Good thing.

Johnny seems to have had a purpose in mind when he knocked the bag off the chair.

Now exhausted, he takes a long nap on the windowsill...

...and wakes up when it's time for dinner.


  1. Johnny has your number all right. I was going to ask where Smooch was during the parade ..... perhaps it's time to switch it up a bit?

    Encourage Smooch to laydown inside at the door. Johnny will have to come up with another way of amusing himself.
    Do you have a cardboard box or large paper bag you can put by the door for Johnny to explore? I think he's bored too and just amusing himself by training you ... or at least making sure that you get some stretching and steps in instead of sitting in one position for hours at a time ;)
    M in NC

  2. A day in the life of one of my cats.

    Johnny is a handsome guy, I can see why it would be hard to refuse to open the door for him.


  3. He's a cat alright!. I saw a tee shirt once with "I came, I purred, I conquered."Cats are just like that. I have a neighborhood cat that jumps over my 8ft fence and suns himself on my patio lounge chairs. Looking forward to seeing him back this summer. He doesn't ask to come inside though. I even grow catnip in my garden for him. Aah cats!
    BA SP

  4. I bet the cockles of your heart are tickled all day watching that sweet kitty....and the others also. Makes mine warm just looking at your pictures. My kitty (she was 19) passed away a few years ago. You're photos remind me of what I'm missing by not adopting another.

  5. Thanks. I needed this laugh!

  6. I think a cat door is in order... you who can build anything?

  7. and the good news is.... we get to see all Johnny pretty faces and butt shots.... he is a beautiful cat.....

  8. I've long been envious of a little decorative sign in my neighbor's kitchen, and I think you need a similar one too. It reads: "Agenda for the day: Let dog in. Let dog out. Let dog in...."

  9. Here are Johnny's thoughts:
    "It starts at 7:01. She has the door shut again. After she finally lets me in, she shuts it again. This goes on all damn day - like 43 times!!! Why doesn't she get that the door should remain open...especially if she's not going to entertain me?" ;-)

  10. JCC is a very busy boy eh ;p

  11. What a good Cat servant you are!

  12. OMG!! Our cats are brothers from another mother!! Damn cats, they've got us pretty well trained, huh?

  13. Boy, he's adorable. Those golden eyes -- yep, get him anything he wants ;)

  14. I thought the dirt on your window was snow! LOL!!!! :) Love your pictures everyday!

  15. Your reformed feral barn cat has certainly turned out to be a sweet little guy!

  16. Haha! My guide dog puppy-in-training does the exact same thing. Our conversations generally go a little bit like this:
    Me: Jazlyn, you just went outside five minutes ago and it's cold.
    Jazlyn: But Mama, I really wanna go out.
    *insert expresssion that can only be found on a 10-week-old labrador*
    Me: Fine. You win.
    *door opens and Jazlyn races out and races back in 30 seconds later*
    Me: You wanted to go out!
    Jazlyn: I changed my mind.

  17. We have a refrigerator magnet that states. "Cats like obedient people" Your training is coming along well..

  18. A great series to start my day off with a smile! In 'Catching the rag...", it looks like Johnny is the one washing the windows - perhaps he was a housekeeper in a former life? And I love the one of Exhausted Johnny with the content little smile on his face.
    And is there a cat born who doesn't like walking across or sitting on keyboards? Drives me crazy! :)

  19. Sooo....We have a Doggie door, in which the cats use also! My days of being a doorman/woman stopped the day the doggie door was installed! And really, I have never had anything come into the house on its own!!!!! Screech has always been the one to bring his little rodent friends in ALIVE AND UNHURT! Crafty cat!

  20. You got yourself a spoiled, high maintenance, wrap you around his paw type of kitty cat. This post is too cute!

  21. And he was a feral cat. lol

  22. I laugh! and love it! you are good catmummy!Johnny adores you. what about leaving the door slightly open?

  23. What a cat Johnny has become; it looks like he puts a lot of sunshine in your day :)

  24. JCC is like any other kid. A bazillion things to play with and places to explore but he would rather just annoy the hell out of mom. thanks for the morning laugh. And by the way, I spent about 5 minutes trying to figure out what that jibberish meant before I read the next line and got a clue. I really need to drink my coffee before I try to function :)

  25. He sure knows which way his bread is buttered - doesn't seem too long ago he was a barn cat! He's one lucky feline I think.

  26. Feline rule number #14:
    A cat is always on the wrong side of the door.

  27. by the way, nap on the windowsill... he is watching you, you can see his eye

  28. An American in Tokyo4/15/14, 6:23 PM

    He trained you good! lol ;)
    I don't think I would be that good. I would probably let him out and ignore him until dinner.
    My bird would like me to open his cage everytime I walk by, but I ignore him, too.
    He rattles the cage and makes noise as if to say, "I'm gonna keep up this noise until you let me out!!"
    It's really annoying!! He sure knows how to get me!! Ha ha!!

  29. Johnny is so cute and has trained you well. I love his sweet irresistible face - no wonder you open the door 43 times a day!

  30. Hahahaha! This sounds like me with my two dogs. Although, they tag team me with their in-and-outs and my desk is no where near the door they go in and out of.

    Linda D.

  31. Nice Johnny, one of our cat did try that same by nigt on the window, with a noise (now we sleep on the second floor)
    Can you put something of the doorwindow, so you can see out but nobody can't see inside...or you coud just employ a doorman for Johnny :)

  32. That first photo of him is absolutely beautiful...the marks on the window look almost like snowflakes....

  33. Isn't JCC so smart to have trained his human so well? My dog Parker does the same routine with me. It's exhausting! lol How is that they're so adept at getting their people to do exactly what they want? What would we do without them - - life would be so much emptier. Love our four-legged friends! ♥