Let's go to Lukenbach, Texas...

...with Waylon and Willie and the boys.


Sadly, Waylon (my goat) passed on before this blog began, but his pal Willie lives on to continue Waylon's legacy of "herd members who don't earn their keep yet keep me entertained nonetheless."

Willie lives by the royal principle – Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down...



...and as long as you're comfortable, you might as well be eating,



or at least ruminating on the subject.



Willie's stallmate Wynonna has dined sufficiently and takes the principle yet another step...never stay awake when you can sleep.

Who among us couldn't use one of these?

Fess up, readers. Who among us isn't afraid of taking a tumble off our horse? The older we get, the more acute our fear becomes. We don't bounce like we did in our youth. We know the consequences of falling...pain, loss of use, a five-hour wait at the ER.

I heard a news story today and couldn't help but think this device should be re-purposed for equestrians.

Japanese firm unveils wearable airbag for elderly
A Japanese company unveiled a wearable airbag for the elderly that pops out when they fall. The 1.1 kilogram (2.4 pound) airbag looks like a traveler's waist pouch but inflates in one-tenth of a second when sensors detect the wearer has taken a tumble. The Tokyo-based company, Prop, unveiled the 148,000 yen (1,400 dollars) device at a fair of products for the elderly and people with disabilities.


OK, so we may have to desensitize our steeds to yet another scary object, but it would be worth it, don't you think?

Unless, of course, you ride in the desert, get dumped on a cactus and the darned thing deflates upon impact.

The social event of the season

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It has been two days since my last post. But I have a good excuse, really I do. Saturday marked the social event of the season out in these parts, so I was busy. Busy trashing my kitchen trying to replicate Pioneer Woman's Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeño Thingies.



There's a reason you don't see any cooking posts on this blog. I'm a kitchen slob. Just head on over to PW's site if you want to learn how to make them...and how they're supposed to look when you're done...unlike mine. 'Nuff said. But they tasted oh so good!

With my appetizer in hand, I headed on over to Frank's ranch for the big shindig. This is an annual event that has occured the last Saturday of September for as long as anyone can remember. Frank throws himself and his buddy Juan a big old birthday party.

This is Frank, standing in front of his windmill. I was hesitant to take my camera to the party, fearing the neighbors might think I'm even weirder than they thought already. But Frank seized upon the opportunity and wanted his picture taken at all the scenic spots on his property. Who was I to argue?



The decor at this party is not your standard disco ball and crepe paper.



Frank's and Juan's friends come from all over the state to enjoy the festivities. Many even bring their RVs and stay the weekend. Everybody puts on their dress boots and a clean pair of Wranglers, and they catch up on all the doin's for the past 12 months.


Kids are welcome, and there is plenty for them to do. Like exploring the umpteen antique vehicles that have accumulated on the ranch since time began.


My neighbor K, who has totally embraced her cowgirl lifestyle, looks forward to Frank's party more than all the adults put together, as there are dozens of new kids to play with.


You know the party is gonna be good when they haul in a flatbed trailer for the buffet table. And then, when the roasters come out filled with Daisy's Pinto Beans, Elma's Carne Adovada, and Mae's Posole, well, it just can't get any better. Here, Daisy and Frank's son, Lester, are carefully calculating how many roasters can get plugged into one power strip without causing a statewide blackout.


Everyone is always so happy to see each other at these gatherings. And no, the bottle of wine in the one woman's arm has nothing to do with that.


This is Cowboy Keith, my neighbor and K's dad. He was our designated driver.


This is neighbor Sue – K's mom – with birthday boy Frank. Keep track of all these relations because it's about to get complicated. Sue is Keith's wife. Frank's ex-wife Joanne (not pictured) was also at the party, as was his other ex-wife Joanne (also not pictured). How many people do you know with two ex-wives with the same name? Who is still cordial enough with both of them to invite them to his annual birthday party? Joanne #1 and Joanne #2 aren't so cordial with each other, but still. Frank has quite the reputation as a ladies' man.


Meanwhile, while Sue was being cordial with Frank, her daughter was being cordial with her new friend.


And the other birthday boy, Juan, was being cordial with his wife Daisy. I love it how couples can still be cordial after 60-some years. I believe this year marked Juan's 81st birthday and Frank's 78th.

Juan and Frank have spent a lifetime joshing with each other. My all-time favorite memory of them is when I was heading out one evening in my truck. It was about sundown, and I saw four men on horseback coming toward me on the road. I got closer and saw it was Juan, Frank, and two of their peers, all heading back to Juan's place after moving a herd of cows to a new pasture. I hope I'm still riding horses when I get to be their age.

I was losing the light and took a few more pictures of Frank before I put my camera away. The music was starting and it's hard to two-step with a camera hanging around your neck, you know.

Just when I thought it was safe to go out on the porch...

It was a typical Friday afternoon. I was focusing on my computer screen, minding my own business, finishing up the day's work. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move on the porch. It was big. It was ugly. It was...


a tarantula...a brown tarantula...a female tarantula.

At least rattlesnakes make noise and tell you they're out and about. Not these gals...they're the silent enemy. I fully understand that they were here first and I am in their territory. But for cryin' out loud, stay the heck off my porch! This is where my dog sleeps! This is where my pig eats! This is where I walk barefoot!

I went back into the house to get my camera. What a surprise. I looked around for something to place next to the tarantula, to give you a sense of scale. My checkbook? My coffee cup? My ruler!

I cracked open the office door. The tarantula was lying in wait. I tossed the ruler in her direction, and she obligingly walked right on top of it.



That leg span looks about 3.5" to me.

I reviewed my options. Get a broom and sweep it off the porch, sparing its life and allowing it to live for 25 -40 years, giving birth to 500 -1000 more tarantulas every stinkin' year, who might one day walk across my porch, scaring me half to death. That's 12,500 - 40,000 tarantulas from her alone, not counting the offspring of her offspring.



Or sweep it off the porch, then throw a great big rock on top of it.

Skywatch Friday with George

There was a little jealousy in the ranks when I featured Lyle in last week's Skywatch post, so this week, George agreed to stand still...without any toys in his mouth and without Alan by his side. Will wonders never cease?

I'm still getting the hang of this Skywatch thing. It's called Skywatch Friday, but the links activate on Thursday, which means I have to shoot a decent sky picture on Wednesday, but since I never know what day it is anyway... Could somebody out there please write a "Skywatch for Dummies"? I do know that if you go to the Skywatch blog any day of the week, you can see a lot of cool sky pictures.

Neighborhood Watch

There's trouble in the pasture ... trespassers have crawled under the fence.



Sheriff Hank and his two loyal deputies move in to control the situation.



Deputy George looks them in the eye.



Deputy Alan looks them in the other eye.



The big buck tells his girls to move on.



Don't worry, guys! We've got your back!

Too tired Tuesday

Please forgive us while we take a little nap.

The 7MSN Dance Company presents "Burro Ballet"

Live, from the beautiful double rainbow stage in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico, we present Burro Ballet, starring George Baryshnikov and Alan Nureyev.

Get ready, boys. The music is about to start. George, let go and get in position!

The curtain rises on our stars, posed in a tender burro embrace:

George takes hold of his partner...

...and they jeté across the stage. The crowd roars its approval and our dancers make eye contact with an adoring fan.  

Bravo! Bravo!

We hear the crowd gasp as Alan moves in for the extremely difficult head butt/chest lift:

Both dancers leap into the air with exquisite timing and grace:

George executes a deep one-legged plié:

And the curtain falls on the closing pose:

After a standing ovation and three encores, the famous dancing burros exit the stage door to greet their fans and sign autographs:

Showdown at the 7MSN Corral

Update: Now that I've posted these pictures and looked at them a few times, I realized it's only a matter of time before one of the boys does get a leg hung up in one of the panels. So I spent a few hours today moving the portable pen out of the big corral. They'll find another way to get themselves into trouble, but at least I've removed the obvious one.

When the burros play, it's a gentle pas de deux. When Hank and Lyle play, it's a WWF smackdown. My heart stops a few times and a few more gray hairs pop out of my head, but in the end, nobody gets hurt. Hank and Lyle are best buddies, and you'll just have to trust me that they are not being aggressive here - this is just what geldings do.

In these photos, neither horse is confined to one side of the corral or the other. They could move back and forth if they wanted to, but they've agreed to some sort of equine ground rule that Hank will stay on the inside and Lyle will be outside the ring. As always, click on any of the pictures to enlarge them.

In the left corner we have the veteran Hank, a 15-year old Paint. And in the right corner we have Lyle, a 7-year-old upstart Quarter Horse.



Round one begins with Hank making a sneaky move through the panel.



He brings Lyle to his knees!



Lyle is back on his feet, calculating just how far away he has to stand to escape Hank's grasp.



Hank rears up and tries a sneak attack from above! Rancher Woman cringes as she envisions his hoof getting caught on the panel.



Lyle counters with a fierce look and Hank backs off.



The bell rings ending the round, and not a moment too soon for Lyle.



Lyle recovers and races around the outside of the corral. He comes in with a left hook.



Look at that follow through!



Lyle is still on the attack! He comes at Hank with a mid-air right hook!



But Hank counters with an airs above the ground.


Lyle decides he has met his match in this Lippizan-wannabe and throws in the towel.