Saturday, February 9, 2008

Living alone, the safety factor, and death by iPod

Living by myself in the middle of nowhere, I am acutely aware of the consequences of mishandling power tools, or getting dumped off a horse and landing in cactus, or trying to kill a rattlesnake with a shovel. There's nobody around to save me but myself. So I try to remember to keep my cell phone in my pocket when I'm outside (and hope that it will have a signal when I really need it), and I'm always listening to the voice inside my head that says "don't do something stupid" whenever I plug in a saw or stand on a ladder.

My daily walk with Smooch is not supposed to be a situation when I have to concern myself with safety. Ok, there were a few times when the neighbor's cows charged us, but I know now to carry a few rocks to throw in our defense. I never thought my iPod could cause me grievous harm. Silly me. The first time this happened, I blew it off as a coincidence; the second time, I learned my lesson. Will there be third time? If I'm found dead in the mud room, you'll all know why.

Here's what happens. I get home with Smooch from our walk. I stand in the mud room and start to take off various layers of winter clothing...the hat, the gloves, the scarf. I'm still listening to the iPod since a podcast or a good song hasn't ended. The iPod is in the front pocket of the Carhartt quilted barn jacket I'm wearing. Have I mentioned that I live in the high desert and the air is very dry? I unzip the jacket, start to remove it and ZZZZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPPP!!! A charge of static electricity stronger than a jolt from my electric fence courses through my entire body and practically knocks me against the wall. I hate it when that happens.

Now all I have to do to prevent this from recurring is, of course, remember to turn off the iPod and remove it from my pocket BEFORE I take off my jacket. A no-brainer, right? Wrong. Any activity that begins with the word "remember" already has two strikes against it. Alas, spring will be here soon, I won't have to wear a jacket, and the warming temperatures might thaw out my brain.

4 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh!! Your post was funny enough (was it supposed be? yowch!) But the 'dead-person-outline-on-the-ground' thang totoally cracked me up! Bwahahaaha!

    Girl, you've got a fantastically sick sense of humor! Love it!!

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  2. Good for people to know.

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  3. Lmao the outline sent me over the edge. You have to be more careful living alone I don't think Smooch is ready just yet to continue your blog or lead an ipod irescue.

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  4. You absolutely have to use this one for an encore.

    Have you managed to keep from getting shocked this winter?

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