Tuesday, March 20, 2018

My theory on broken ribs

I have many theories on the way the world works, none of which are based on science but which I believe nonetheless. Perhaps you remember my two theories on age: 1) All adults are the same age. 2) Anybody who is taller than me is older than me (I'm 5'3"). Note that these theories were developed when I was an active participant in the dating pool.

Anyway, I have a new theory, and this one is on broken ribs and why they take a long time to heal (3 months said the xray guy, 6 months said the doctor, but they were both males so I'm thinkin' 1-1/2 to 2).

Carson's Theory on Broken Ribs:
Broken ribs take a long time to heal because each time you sneeze, they break all over again.

I'm serious. I have sneezed three times since this happened, and each time, it was #unscheduleddismount all over again. 

Think of it as pulling off a scab (this is a gross analogy and I apologize but it's exactly like that, without the scab and the blood). 

The scab heals over the wound, it gets ripped off, there's blood. Likewise, the ribs start to heal, you sneeze, the ribs crack again. Sigh.

Time passes...

The scab heals over the wound again, but the wound is a little smaller this time; the scab gets ripped off; there's blood but not as much as the last time. Likewise, the ribs have healed a bit and the crack isn't as big; you sneeze; the ribs crack again but not as far as the last time. 

How can you argue with that logic?

In any event, life goes on, albeit a little more slowly than usual.

p.s. If you have an old recliner in the basement and you're thinking about giving it away, reconsider if you think you might one day have some broken ribs.




32 comments:

  1. Many eons ago, my horse threw me into a tree and I broke several ribs. Such agony! Breathing was awful. Every breath I took I could hear/feel click, click, click.....This went on a long time and I wondered how it would ever heal if I kept breathing....then one morning I woke up and there were no more clicks! Over night the bones had knitted! Hopefully yours do the same very soon.

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  2. SOOoooo sorry. Ugh. It is hard to stay 'chin up', when the time frame is so long. One of my buddies just had both knees replaced. Length of rehab/recovery is just a number until you're there doing it. I make him a pie after rehab to help him get through it...something for him to look forward to. It's the one-day-at-a-time theory for sure. If we only came with rewind buttons, right? I would have used mine a lot. Anyhow, healing thoughts and prayers being said for you each day. Sending AIR hugs.

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  3. You have my deepest empathy. I hope you don't sneeze again for at least a year.

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  4. Ugh...... I've heard broken ribs are awful as you are describing. And somehow I pictured you in that old green recliner that Marty Crane sat in but Fraser kept trying to give away! See, there is a reason to hang onto stuff 😆

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  5. I SO wish I could be there to do the heavy lifting! That said, I hope your recliner was already in place and that you didn't move it from storage!

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  6. I tell this to everyone: Use a hot water bottle! I learned this from a nurse in the ER dept. after a visit there with severely injured ribs from being knocked around by a cow. Unfortunately ribs do take a LONG time to heal, and I have had lots of experience with this! Getting in and out of bed is the absolute hardest, so your idea of the recliner is a good one. I used to tape the hot water bottle under my shirt and wear it all day, but it really helps most when you are lying still.

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    1. You have saved my day. I don't have a hot water bottle but did find a heating pad, which is older than my parsley flakes, so as long as it doesn't set the house on fire, I'm confident I will get through the day. Thanks!!!

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    2. The really good thing about a hot water bottle is that it moves as you do.Worth keeping a couple on hand.Too hot in summer? Fill 'em with cool water

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  7. How can you keep from sneezing? No pepper for sure. Maybe a surgical mask to keep out dust. That would definitely been the pits, smelling your own breath for months 😉 haha, just kidding! Seriously though, I'm so sorry, that sounds awful. I sure hope those guys were wrong and you heal lots faster.

    I totally agree with your theory on all adults being the same age. Man, I sure hate it when people ask me how old I think they are. I don't know, roughly my age? Except a few people who will never be adults.

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  8. i like and believe your theory... and agree with the recliner, hubby had no recliner, just two sofas, not even a chair and getting up and down and finding a position to sleep in was very hard, think lots of pillows propped on the arm of sofa

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  9. My younger brother was walking his Pomeranian and the puppy managed to wrap the leash around him and trip him. He fell on the curb on his street. Ambulance to trauma center, broken ribs and agony for some time. The tiny pup's name is Woodstock but I usually refer to him as Killer. David is not small, although he is always my little brother. The irony is not lost on him. He did recover but it does take longer than it should.

    He is the family cutup so we were not making him laugh and hurt like he would have done us. Smooch will be kind. Alan and George will likely make you laugh ten times a day.

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  10. I believe you're right-on in your healing theory. Knock on wood...I've never had cracked or broken ribs, but I have had a broken leg ('95) and busted knee cap ('05). Those were healed up in 2-3 months. But since you can't wrap a rib, or prevent any sort of unscheduled movement (a sneeze, a cough) with a rib, it must be difficult to predict the healing period. I know you're staying as comfortable as possible. Now's a good time for lots of meditation. Sit still....oooommmmmmm ; )

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  11. Six weeks is about right for ribs - at least that was my experience. (can also corroborate the gender component of your theory lol...)

    I had good results with this homeopathic remedy for my badly busted arm - Boiron Symphytum Officinale Homeopathic Medicine for Bone Trauma. I realize it's a sample of one, and opinions differ on homeopathy, but first xray after surgery there was literally no bone knitting - Dr was mystified and worried. After two weeks of homeopathy I had a robust cloud of new bone happening...

    Hoping you can avoid allergens + humor until things improve. :D

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  12. I concur on the homeopathic remedy. My cousin is a missionary in remote areas and had used it often with great success. So so sorry about your ribs.

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  13. I'm on my 6 1/2 weeks from broken ribs, they still hurt a bit, but I can get by with just a little ibuprofen. I totally agree with the ribs moving and healing part. It's really odd to feel something move and shift inside that should be stationary. Getting up from sitting or laying is the worst. When I ride now, I wear a safety vest. Quick healing thoughts going your way!

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  14. Broken ribs suck. Never had any but know people who have. I agree with your analogy on broken ribs. There's nothing more useful than a comfy old recliner...I basically lived in one for five months while on chemo. Find some good shows on Netflix to keep you somewhat occupied and maybe a bit of crocheting. Hope you heal quickly!

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  15. Your hair has grown!
    (just trying a little humor here, but no too much, so you won't laugh)
    Also : make sure you take some extra calcium plus vitamin D to for bones to heal quicker.
    Love from Amsterdam

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  16. I'm 71. I moved from my formerly wonderful bed to a recliner about 2 years ago and have slept wonderfully ever since. No more back pain, no more leg cramps, no more getting up and down at all during the night. I'm about ready to get rid of the bed entirely, think how much room there will be in the bedroom! And I really, really wish I could get hotel rooms that just had a recliner. Or 3 recliners, if I'm traveling with company. So sorry about your ribs. When you live in the country by yourself, it's not like you can actually 3-6 months to recuperate. That's for guys who have wives to do everything for them.

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  17. Sure feel for you. I've had times I've strained the muscles etc. around my ribs coughing and its been awful - the coughing, sneezing and laughing hurt. It must be 10X worse with them broken. Smooch looks like a good caretaker. Wishing you lots of seriousness and no allergies until you heal.

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  18. I can relate! My unscheduled dismount years ago broke some ribs, my tailbone and cracked my pelvis. I love your theory on healing ribs and believe it has some basis in truth. In addition to the Vitamin D and Calcium, add some Biotin to your bone healing regimen.
    Isn't that Smooch's chair you're sleeping in? Does she get your bed in exchange? ;)
    On the flip side of this, you will heal more quickly at Danni's house. No hay bales to be thrown or grain bags to lift. Plus, I'm certain she'll treat you like the dear friend that you are.

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  19. i agree with your broken rib theory. hope you have minimal sneezing and heal quickly.

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  20. You have the best hot water bottle: Johnny. cats are the greatest healer, the heat plus the purring accelerate the healing. Take care of yourself and heal well

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  21. I'm 5'7 and by the calendar am 62.5. Whatever. I've broken, cracked and bruised ribs ... last time about 6 months ago. Agree with recliner. Disagree with heat. ICE! Heat feels good but ice helps with inflammation and thus more blood to area and faster healing. Also food - sardines and black beans and greens.

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  22. Feel better! I broke 6 ribs in a car accident (along with a myriad of injuries) about 20 years ago, and the ribs were easily the worst. Your theory can't be far off...I totally agree about the feeling! Sneezing, coughing, having to bend or raise your hands in the shower, etc....all of it. Rip off the scab. haha! A heating pad was my best friend...I hope you have one nearby! <3

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  23. Harley broke two ribs in January after slipping on some ice. He is finally feeling better 2 months later. The recliner was his bed for the first two weeks. We feel your pain. Sneezing is the worst. Don't laugh either. ;)

    This too shall pass. Sending good wishes for your continued healing.

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  24. By the way I disagree with your tall rule: I'm 6.2 and 59. luckily, you don't have to work and stay in front of your computer anymore.

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  25. You kept mentioning your recliner and I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember where you had one in your house. So, thanks for the picture...I had never realized that this chair actually reclined. lol. This super sucks about all your pain and all the stories of how long cracked ribs take to heal. It’s pissing me off a little, actually. :-)
    Also, your theory on age cracked me up, since for me, I always tend to believe I’m the same age as anyone around me, regardless of their real age (or their height), so while I’m willing to be the same age as you, I can’t say I’m ready to agree to being older than you just because I’m a couple (2.5 to be exact) inches taller than you.

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  26. a friend who had heart surgery carried around a pillow to hug when he had to cough or sneeze. he said it really helped.

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  27. your theory is absolutely correct.... hence the 6 month time frame....and, if you consider the inter costal tissue and muscle etc... it takes foooorreeevvver to finally feel great once again. Relax ...or try to ...and, just do simple, non vigorous, not quick movement kind of of things while you wait.... it takes a frikkkin' long time.... as you can see I speak from experience.

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  28. An American in Tokyo3/25/18, 7:53 PM

    Oh no! Are you okay with food and supplies? Is there someone who can help you?
    I hope you heal fast! Sending healing vibes(?) through the internet for you!

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  29. So sorry about your ribs. :( I have never had any cracked ribs, but it does sound awfully painful. Wishing you a quick recovery. I know Smooch will be a great nurse. :)

    Sydney
    NE Oklahoma

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