Thursday, May 17, 2012

You know you've spent the day in town when...

...you can't muster the energy to walk out and find your herd so you sit on the back porch with your dog, 
taking pictures of swallows sitting on a nearby yucca. 


Have I told you lately how much I hate going to town? Going to town is bad enough in and of itself. Showing up with a black eye makes it that much worse. You know everyone you meet is thinking "who beat the crap out of her?" but they're too polite to ask the question. So you try to beat them to the punch, give a little chuckle and tell them "a cow did it," which only validates their original belief that you're a victim of domestic violence trying to cover up for some brute whose fist met your face.

But honest, a cow did it! I was driving home from the Walmart on Sunday, when I encountered a cow running back and forth across the highway. Three or four vehicles were in pursuit, trying to herd her to safety. Having successfully chased many a cow out of my path before, I decided to be a good samaritan. I got out of my truck and walked into the path of the cow, whistling and waving my arms to turn her around and direct her toward the nearest gate. The darned thing charged me and knocked me flat. Boy was I mad. "Go ahead, get hit by a truck, see if I care," I told her. "And just for that, I'm having steak for dinner."

Anyway, that's how I happened to go to town today with a black eye and no sunglasses to cover it up, because she broke those, too.



Swallow #1: What's that dog doing?




Swallow #2: Not sure. If she comes any closer, we could poop on her, then maybe she'll go away.




Swallow #1: You're disgusting. Where do you get these ideas?
I think you've been spending too much time flying around town. Town is bad for the soul.
No good thing ever comes of a trip to town.




Swallow #1: I'm off to find somebody I can relate to, 
a simple country swallow with no hidden agenda.

25 comments:

  1. Anne Boleyn5/17/12, 5:33 AM

    Come on! Show us your black eye, so we can laugh/be sympathetic.
    BEAUTIFUL swallow pictures!

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  2. How cute!~ I mean the swallows, not your black eye!

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  3. Well I've learned a lesson from you. I won't chase a cow off the road if I see one. I don't know what they do over at the PW ranch when one gets out of hand. They had one that lived on their porch for awhile but she never attacked anyone as far as I know. Glad your encounter didn't include a broken leg or something worse. You can always get a new pair of sunglasses and yes bruises do heal up. Keep on keepin' on, Carson.

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  4. Ouch! Was anyone around to help you up?
    Cracked up at that Swallow conversation. I pretty much chuckle every morning reading through your blog. What a great way to start my day!

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  5. OUCH!!! Oye....I had a black eye once from walking into a bus stop pole while walking my dog. By day 2 I needed a t-shirt that said "NO, my husband didnot hit me"!!!!! Be glad you donot have neighbours eh ;-)

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  6. I used to hate driving all the way to Belen, Los Lunas, or even Albuq. It took me a week to recover. Plus, all that hustle bustle with people looking like ants spending their hard earned dollars. Hope the eye gets better soon. And, that you got new sunglasses!

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  7. When I broke my wrist everybody in the emergency room and everybody at the orthopedic surgeons wanted to know how I did it. I got tired of the "I slipped on the ice story ", so I started telling them I did it pole dancing! The reactions are alot better. Feel free to use that line if you wish!

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  8. Ouch is right! That cow needs to pick on someone her own size! She may have been in distress if she lost her calf or if her calf was injured somewhere. The swallows are adorable.

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  9. Been there when the pony broke my nose & I had TWO blacks eyes. I found arnica helped the bruising, brandy helped my soul & saying I'd overestimated the challenges of black run skiing stopped the questions.

    Guess you can't use that one? you could always use a bit of truth & say a a cow objected to having make up on for her photo shoot!


    The swallows are gorgeous & obviously different species to the ones that make it to Scotland. They have white breasts. Maybe they are bleached after flying all that way? :)

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  10. I love the shot of Swallow #1 saying "No good thing ever comes of a trip to town" - my sentiments exactly!
    I hope the eye heals quickly.

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  11. Our household can relate. I posted a photo of my husband's black eye a week or so ago. Our female boxer pup smacked him while they were playing... It's why they call them boxers! Hope your eye is as nice of a rainbow as his was. You can compare by reading this post. LOL

    http://www.theblueridgegal.com/2012/04/gave-him-old-one-two.html

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  12. All kidding aside, Carson. you could have been hurt :( I'm so glad you are okay !!

    PS.... do you dare show us your eye?

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  13. Your swallow photos and banter are stunning and entertaining as always.
    Darn cow, she had no idea who you are or she wouldn't have run you down. Silly cow, didn't have a clue you would out her here on your blog.
    Darn girl, I'm sorry you got a shiner for your good deed.
    Oma Linda

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  14. I was dumping a heavy plastic bucket full of yard waste into the main bin when it kicked back and hit me. No one believed my explanation for the black eye....
    Pictures-we need pictures of you!
    The swallow "conversation" and photos were excellent.

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  15. Wow, well thanks for clearing that up. After my pony encounter, I usually give feisty four legged animals a wide berth.

    Those are awesome photos of the swallows. How did you get them to sit so still and pose for you?

    Hope the steak was good. *smile*

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  16. I know it wasn't funny in the moment, but everyone needs a good black eye story. Mine involves a 110 degree day in Texas, a jeep, a fool, and a pregnant woman. Wear it like a badge Carson. Even if the cow "won", you weren't afraid of the battle. And you learned something, right? (Always have two pair of sunglasses and NEVER underestimate your opponent!) Pretty swallow pictures and you even made the yuccas look special!

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  17. I agree with those swallows. No good comes from going to town. I hope your bruising fades fast! Have (another) margarita. It'll help.

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  18. I had the same trouble when my nose got busted a couple of months ago. Someone even (very politely and sincerely) walked up and handed me a pamphlet about domestic violence. Even worse, some years ago my farming buddy got squished up against a wall by a cow and ended up going to the ER. They wanted to call social services.

    It does give those steaks that extra special seasoning though doesn't it?:)

    By the way, what kind of swallows are those? We have Tree Swallows and Barn Swallows, yours definitely look a little different.

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  19. Carol in N. Colorado5/17/12, 12:05 PM

    Darn cows are so unpredictable. Glad you weren't hurt too badly. I hate going to town too and I live in town. Maybe it's I hate leaving the house to fight the traffic and knotheads on the road. Yea, that's the story. It's a beef steak suppose to be good for the black eyes by why waste a good piece of beef when a package of peas works just as well. Peas are a good thing to waste.

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  20. I know what to do when a horse is loose... but a cow doesnt have the brains God gave a rock. Let them get run over.
    Ouch, good thing a steak on the eye is a nice revenge.
    Love the swallow pics, such a pretty color in the sun. Take care and let the dumb cows take their own licks.

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  21. Ouch! I'm sorry that you tried to do something good and got hurt! Cows can be scary!

    I love swallows. We recently moved but in our prior house, Mr. and Mrs. Swallow built a nest right up next to our outdoor light. Every season they would come back and raise 3 batches of babies. Even though they were very messy, we loved watching them tend to their babies. We moved only two houses down and really wish that we could have left a sign for them saying "Come stay with us at our new house!" HA!

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  22. Ah yes, the old "cow did it" story. ;oP hehehe
    It must be a good one if you got lots of looks. Come on...take a picture....all the rest of us are Gladys-ing (hows that for a word).
    Your pictures are stunning as always and I love the 4th one with the conversation. They are most certainly talking to each other.

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  23. Ouch! I guess the cow just had too many trying to corral it.

    I love your swallow pictures. I have an awful time capturing them. They seem to be always in flight. Very nicely done.

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  24. oh, Linda.... those pictures are brilliant! what beautiful birds and what beautiful photography!

    and I agree with the others who want pics of the eye :) and my sister always says what you said in your tweet.... no good deed goes unpunished!

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  25. I once fell asleep reading a hardback book and woke up with a huge shiner. I was in a difficult (but not violent) relationship and I had two people slip me the number of the women's shelter.

    Broke up with that guy and stopped falling asleep when I was reading.

    Our next burger will be eaten with gusto in your honor.

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