Lucy: Mom, seriously, how many bones does one person need?
Me: As many as we can collect. Just humer
A few yards beyond the femur was the mother lode and the smelly cause for Lucy's consternation –
an entire cow skeleton, still sort of ripe for the pickin's.
Clearly, I had to retrieve the skull. A girl can never have too many skulls.
For the record, this saddle bag has a one-cow-skull capacity.
The manufacturer should include that in the specifications. It could be a big selling point.
Lucy: I swear to God, if you strap that ribcage on me, I'm never speaking to you again.
Me: Relax. It's not going anywhere. We'll come back for it next time.
So I zipped up the bag, secured it to the saddle, and off we went on our merry way home.
But the adventure wasn't over yet. A few miles westward, we found another treasure.
Me: Look, Lucy! A spine!
Lucy: Yeah? We've all got one. What's the big deal?
Me: This one might be too small to be a bovine's. We should take it home for further analysis.
Lucy: What's with this "we" crap? I want no part of this.
I'm starting to look like a Christmas tree with all these ornaments.
Me: Come on, be a sport. It's not heavy and it will give us something to blog about.
Lucy: Well, when you put it in those terms, I guess it's ok.
When we arrived home, Smooch was very excited about the day's haul.
Smooch: I'm not sure what's in that bag, but it smells divine. Can I have it? Pretty please?
Me: Sorry, toots. Skulls are reserved for display purposes only.
Should trespassers ever appear at this gate,
surely they will think twice about messing with the occupants...I hope.
Nothing says "bad-ass lives here" more than a cadaver...
...or better yet, the real thing.