The 7MSN Ranch

Lessons learned from the school of hard knocks

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

What? You don't trust me?

The sky is blue, the mud is brown

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Finally, a sunny and warm weekend. The snow from the most recent storm melted fast and furiously, and by Sunday morning, I was able to venture out for a nice long hike with Smooch without the risk of having my boots sucked off.

The road out to the highway is still pretty much impassable except in the middle of the night when it's frozen, but the warmer temperatures offered a glimmer of hope that our lives might one day return to normal...

...where normal equals driving in axle-deep ruts but at least not getting stuck.

Alas, by Sunday afternoon the snow and sleet had started again, and the cycle of slop will begin anew. The old-timers in the area say there hasn't been a winter like this since 1999. They also say the grass that year was two feet high.

Smooch is just as anxious as I am for that first green sprout.

George philosophizes about El Niño

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

You can run but you can't hide.

Keep your chin up.

Saturday encore ~ George's and Alan's favorite Superbowl commercial

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Surely you've all seen this commercial, which I posted last year on Superbowl Sunday. But just in case you haven't, it bears repeating. I'd be embarrassed to tell you how many times I've watched it.

Football is not my favorite sport, but I'll be watching the Superbowl today just to see what my favorite Clydesdales are up to this year. I've read that there will be three different spots featuring these giants.

And maybe there will be one or two other memorable commercials...like this next one, which is another of my all-time favorites.

Enjoy the game.

There's a rooster in my kitchen

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

When I posted a few weeks ago about baking Wally's Cookies for Smooch,
a few astute observers questioned whether I was harboring an elf in my kitchen.

In a word, no. Those jolly red boots belong to my rooster...

my spur-wearing, whistle-blowing rooster.

I spotted him in a gallery in Telluride 17 years ago. Some of you may remember reading a story about that fateful ski trip. In any event, I was in the gallery hemming and hawing over two pieces that caught my eye. As I was trying to make up my mind, the salesperson suggested I simply buy both. What a good idea.

Turns out both pieces were by the same artist, Clifton Barr.
Mr. Barr clearly has a sense of humor. Meet my anatomically correct buffalo bull.

About three years later, I was gallery-hopping in Ouray, Colorado, and saw another whimsical piece of folk art that I had to have. It was only after I decided to buy it that I turned it over and found Clifton Barr's signature.

And here you were thinking you already knew all the animals that live at the 7MSN.
Here's one more...

He is not signed by the artist, as he's just a lowly potholder...

...who occasionally doubles as a puppet.

Smooch isn't sure what to make of this inanimate herd,
but she's wise enough not to mess with the rooster in spurs.

The winter of our discontent

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Another El Niño storm moved through yesterday.
That would be number 12 since the first of December. But who's counting?

The first winter I spent at the 7MSN, there were no storms from December through February –
as in zero, as in not one drop of rain, not one flake of snow.
In the years since then, there have been six or seven storms each winter.

So, yeah, the weather this winter is a little unusual.

We're all taking it in stride,

though it seems everyone is wearing a permanent expression of disbelief.

I knew when I moved here that there might be days I could not get out to the highway;
I just didn't expect this many in a row.

But life will get back to normal sooner or later, and I can just picture what will happen
when all this snow and rain and mud goes away.

Oh happy day.

Free Willie

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

It was just after two o'clock yesterday afternoon when I heard the strangest noise coming from the barnyard. Smooch heard it, too, and became very alarmed, barking and carrying on.

I looked out the window and discovered that the noise was the sound of a plastic pail being scraped along the gravel path.

Willie, would you like me to take that off your head?

Yes, please.

Willie doesn't get mentioned very often over here. To be honest, I didn't want you all to get too attached because I didn't think he'd be around much past the fall. His arthritis has been getting worse, and I thought I might have to make the big decision before the onset of winter. Wanting to make him as happy as possible, I started giving him a cup of sweet feed with his hay for dinner. Well if that didn't turn out to be a magical elixir. The old fella has a new lease on life.

He's not as spry as he was in his youth, but I hope he'll be around to see another spring.

Muddy Buddy

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

I'm not going out in that slop. No way. Nuh-uh. Not a chance.

Me neither. And if we stay in here, she
feels sorry for us and feeds us more often.

Wimps.

A few bright spots from the weekend

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Wynonna, the newest A-list celebrity in the European Union

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Somewhere in this blogging journey, I was advised to sign up for Google Alerts so that I would know which sites were linking to the7msnranch.com. Now I get an e-mail every day that tells me. Most of the sites have been harmless, and I haven't had to write any "cease and desist" letters.

Every once in awhile, though, a link shows up that leaves me completely flummoxed, like this one that appeared on Saturday.

What in the world is the EFSA and why would they be linking to my website?

I clicked on the link and found a 19-slide Powerpoint presentation from the European Food Safety Authority.

This has got to be a mistake, I thought, as I read through the presentation, with its scientific opinions and conclusions and uncertain meta-analysis due to heterogeneity among estimates. Oh yeah, this has alot to do with the 7MSN ranch.

Then I got to slide 16.

And there she was.

Of all the pigs in all the world, Mr. Greiner picked none other than the porcine princess herself to include in his presentation.

When I went outside to tell Wynonna about this development, she was not the least bit surprised that word of her stunning beauty had spread across the pond. She yawned and requested I not wake her again unless the news was really important, like her invitation from the Queen had finally arrived.

Saturday encore ~ Rub-a-dub-dub, Wynonna in the tub

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Here's a classic from August 2008, to remind us of warmer days to come.

It was a hot and steamy August afternoon. Wynonna awoke from her afternoon nap to take a quick dip in her tub and cool off. I know...I know...she could probably use a bigger tub, but I don't think she knows how to swim and I wouldn't want her to drown.

Could I have a little privacy here, please?

She lays down in the dirt and rocks back and forth to coat herself. (Sort of like breading a pork chop before you fry it.) Lyle has watched this spectacle many times before but still can't figure it out.

Neither can Willie.

Don't you just love the bathtub ring?

My towel, please?

Beam Us to the Beach

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Creature comforts

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Things to love about January*

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

1.

2.

3.

*This list comes straight from the shoeblox blog, as the snow and cold have sapped every ounce of creativity and humor from my bloodstream.

The temperature did warm up to a balmy 40 degrees on Tuesday, replacing many inches of snow with many inches of mud. Another storm is expected to roll in this afternoon.

Even Deets is entertaining thoughts of moving to a warmer climate.

Do you see what I see?

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

The boys aren't used to having snow on the ground day ... after day ... after stinkin' day ... any more than I am. Normally in my neck of nowhere, the snow falls, the sun comes out, the temperature climbs, the snow melts. This winter, we seem to keep missing that temperature climbing part. And we're all going a little crazy because of it.

Everything looks different when snow covers the ground. The boys start seeing things.

Do you think that's a shadow or a mountain lion?

I'm not sticking around to find out.

Run for your lives!

Deets is messin' with us again, mom.

You know you live in the middle of nowhere when...

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

...when you leave for the grocery store before the sun comes up so that you can get back home before the road thaws out and turns to mud.

But it's worth it because you get to see the day break,

and how many people get to see this on their way to Walmart anyway?

The downside of living in the middle of nowhere is that you don't get to see your friends as often as you'd like, so imagine my delight when I got home today and found an e-mail from Bernard and Ellsworth's mom that they have their own blog! Now I'll be able to visit them all the time, and so can you. Click here and tell them George and Alan sent you.

Baking Wally's Cookies

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

To say that the weather has been inclement this week would be a gross understatement. All the rain that's been dumping on California and Arizona turned to snow when it got to the 7MSN.

All of us are quite out of sorts over the whole situation. I caught Smooch on the window seat, staring woefully out at the wild white yonder, and couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

I decided to bake her a batch of Wally's Cookies to cheer her up.

Wally belongs to Pat. If you've ever left a comment on this blog, then you know Pat, from east Tennessee. She drinks her coffee over here every morning and is usually the first commenter of the day. Last week, Wally e-mailed Smooch his favorite cookie recipe.

The cookies were very easy to make...

...and they were the highlight of Smooch's day.

Smooch gives Wally's Cookies two paws up. Here's the recipe. Oh, and look, here's Wally, too!

Wally's Cookies

2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup powdered milk
5 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup applesauce
3/4 cup rolled oats
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup water or chicken stock
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Combine all ingredients into a thick dough. Knead until there are no lumps. Roll to about 1/2" thickness and cut into shapes. Bake at 350 for 22 minutes.

This recipe makes about three dozen cookies. When they were finished baking, I turned off the oven and left them in there about an hour to harden. The cookies freeze well, so don't let your dog convince you she has to eat all of them right away before they go bad.

Saturday encore ~ The Instigator

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Here's an oldie but a goodie, from July 2008.

I was minding my own business, checking fence the lazy way – on the Ranger. Silly me drove home through the middle of the pasture, only to encounter the boys.

Hmm...tastes pretty good. Could use more salt.

Lyle, not the camera bag!

Lyle, leave the pail alone.

Lyle, don't even think about it.

Lyle, if you had a hammer, you wouldn't know what to do with it.

See what you've done? Now George has to get in on the act.

George, don't go there...

George, just because Lyle does something doesn't mean you have to...

But, Mom, you let him do it.

Yeah, you let Lyle do it. He gets away with everything.

Mom, can I have a ride back to the barn?

Lyle, just...go...away.

Deets, the movie

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Since recovering from his little mishap at the hooves of Lyle, Deets has become one cautious cat, and that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean he's lost his coolness.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The winner of The 7MSN Ranch Mercantile giveaway is commenter number 79 - June, who swilled coffee for breakfast. June, please email your mailing address to me at: the7msn at gmail dot com. Thanks for participating, everyone! I was thoroughly enlightened and entertained by what y'all ate for breakfast. (Seriously, Rhonda, popcorn chicken, banana, donut stick, and hot cocoa?)

Working without a net

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Alan, official spokesmodel for the 7MSN

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Hey, Alan. Come on over here. I need to tell you something.

Do you have any idea how many friends you've made by being your cute little self? You are loved, little buddy. And now we're going to show them your amazing convex eyelashes. I hope they can handle it.

Do you think People magazine will put me on
the cover of their "sexiest burro alive" issue?

One step at a time. How about we start out small and make you official spokesmodel for the 7MSN? Are you ready? Go ahead...make your big announcement.

A-hem. I'm pleased to announce the grand opening of The 7MSN Ranch Mercantile over at Café Press. That's where mom got my hat made, and now you can get one just like it if you're so inclined. No pressure. We're tickled that some of you have expressed interest in "wearing the brand." If you're not a hat kind of person, there are a couple of other souvenirs over there that you might like - a mouse pad, a journal, and a big mug. We're not in this to profit off our friends, so there is no mark-up on any of this stuff.

Good job, Alan. Now tell them about the contest.

Oh, yeah, the contest. To celebrate the grand opening of our store, we're having a giveaway! Here's the scoop:

The prize: one 7MSN Ranch hat and mug
To enter: leave a comment on this post telling me what you ate for breakfast
Contest closes: Thursday, 7:00pm Mountain time
Number of winners: one
One entry per person, please. The winner will be selected using random.org and announced Friday.

Good luck!

Who's afraid of the big bad bull?

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Smooch and I were heading home with a load of firewood on Saturday when we met up with Big O and his herd. I hadn't seen Big O in awhile, so we stopped to chat and grab a few pictures.

I stood there admiring Big O's magnificence, trying to recall what my neighbor had told me about Big O's retirement as herd sire. Did she really tell me he'd been castrated and another bull had taken his place? As I was trying to piece together that conversation, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.

Well, hello there, big black cow. I don't remember
seeing you before. Are you new in town?

My, you are awfully large - I can see that from here.
No need to come any closer...Mr. Bull.

Seriously, Mr. Bull, please don't come any closer.

We come in peace...we're vegetarians!
Not really, but I was running out of things to say.

Smooch! Open my door! This guy means business!

Mom, I've got my hands full over here. They've got us surrounded!

I realize we haven't been properly introduced, Mr. Bull,
but was it really necessary to chase me around the truck?
I was just being neighborly.

Apology accepted. Ta ta for now.

Let sleeping horses lie...but it's ok to wake up a burro

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Hats off to Alan...

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

...for being such a good sport.

Saturday encore ~ Making the best of a trip to WalMart

the7msnonline@wildblue.net (the7msn) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Saturday in the middle of nowhere usually means a trip to somewhere for provisions. In honor of today's to-do list, I'll repeat this post from last January.

When I head out to town, town equals Belen, New Mexico, population 7,000. It has all the necessities: gas station, feed store, post office, tire store. And of course, it has the ubiquitous WalMart. It used to have a real grocery store, which went out of business when Wally came to town. Belen's claim to fame is as the third largest train depot in the U.S.

For me, the cool part of Belen is smack dab across the street from the WalMart. So on Saturday, Smooch and I left WalMart with our truckload of groceries and headed right on over to the Valencia County Sheriff's Posse grounds. There's always something going on that involves horses or cows or both, and this day it was a team roping.

We got the perfect parking spot right at the rail so that Smooch wouldn't miss a thing.

See, Smooch? That dog has a job, too. She keeps the cattle moving through the chute.

No, thanks. I like my job as co-pilot and chief truck security officer.

No cows were harmed in the making of this team roping. They all wore these cute little horn protectors.

I wasn't much interested in the actual roping because these two horses were far more entertaining. See the Palomino on the left, with the nicely coiled lariat on his saddle? Now watch the Paint on the right throw a loop over his head.

I think the Palomino realizes he's going to get in big trouble for getting his rope all tangled and decides turnabout is fair play. He grabs onto the Paint's lead rope and decides to untie her.

Note the hand-crafted lead rope, braided with loving care out of baling twine. Us country folk are all about recycling.

About this time, my co-pilot reminded me that we needed to get the groceries home, and thus ended our adventure to town.